Nice alliteration for the name of this post, right? Right.
Ok, I know. It’s been like.. a stupid long time since I last posted a recipe. Excuses suck, but I have a some for you anyways. 1. I got a new job (with the same company) and I started last Monday. I have WAY less downtime, and I’m beyond exhausted when I get home. That = no new recipes and even when I do come up with something new, no energy to post about them. 2. I went to Kentucky last week to visit the Jim Beam and Makers Mark Distilleries. I can’t lie, that was awesome. I’ll post more about that with pictures at another time. When I got back I was so busy getting ready for the work week and seeing my mom who was in town for the weekend that I didn’t do much else.
And then (this is excuse number 4, if you’re counting), yesterday we got the most rain we have gotten since 1955 (apparently) and our garage flooded. Our two car garage that is a actually a gym. With 18, 100 pound stall mats covering the floor, and thousands of pounds in weights and equipment on top of that. You can imagine the fun of cleaning that out, letting it dry, and putting every single thing back. Granted, TJ did a lot of it alone while I was at work today. But I still helped put everything back after we worked out tonight. We only JUST moved the entire gym like 3 weeks ago. It was fun to do it all over again so soon.
That’s our back yard. FULL of rain. Which led to..
A garage gym. FULL of 3 inches of water.
I just realized I don’t think I’ve even posted about the gym being done. That’s pretty bad, because that was a little while ago now. I’m going to need to post about that too, because it is the one thing that actually makes my life EASIER right now.
I go to the Outer Banks this Friday for a full week (can you spot the preemptive excuse that will come next week here?) with my boyfriends family and I couldn’t be more excited. Seriously. I got to go on an amazing vacation last year, but this one will be SO relaxing. We won’t be rushing around, sightseeing, and going, going, going. That’s how my family trips usually are. And that’s fine because we get to see so much, but sometimes you just need to do nothing for a week. And that is exactly what I plan on doing. Luckily, since I am so new to my position/territory, there shouldn’t (fingers crossed) be too much work/emergencies that I’ll have to handle while I’m gone.
Ok, now to this recipe. Remember that one time I told you that when TJ is hungover, he likes to eat kind of crappy? And that I like to let him eat crappy, but in a better way? Like with kale chip nachos? No, you don’t remember? I don’t either, but I swear I did at some point. Well, this weekend he announced he wanted pizza. After eating his crabs, that we caught in our own crab pots. Which I also can’t believe I haven’t written about yet. God, I suck at blogging this summer.
Here is a pretty picture of a passing storm that I took while TJ checked our crab pots to make up for my lack of posting lately.
Anyways, I decided I would finally try cauliflower pizza. They were inspired by cauliflower breadsticks that I made a long time ago. I couldn’t find a recipe that I really liked, so I just made one up. You can too. Seriously. I made pesto sauce yesterday for absolutely no reason other than I was craving it, so while I was stuffing chicken with it tonight, it dawned on me that pesto would make a PERFECT substitute for pizza sauce in this recipe. I’m pretty pumped to try that out for myself actually. Don’t go stealing my ideas now. Don’t you do it. Ok fine, do it.
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp of crushed red pepper
1/4 tsp oregano
1/2 can/jar of sugar free pizza sauce
Cheese, of your choice, if you’re primal or don’t care about eating dairy
Toppings, again of your choice. I did: spinach, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, garlic, cheese (mozeralla), bacon crumbles and chopped broccoli.
Preheat your oven to 450 and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. If you have a pizza stone, by all means use that. I don’t, so I just used a lame old cookie sheet.
Grate or food process your cauliflower the same way you would make rice. Put it in a microwave safe bowl and heat for 4 minutes. If you don’t microwave, sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. That’s how I cooked mine, but I’m pretty sure it can be boiled on the stove as well. Once it is done, dump the cooked cauliflower onto a clean tea or dish towel and let it cool. Once it has cooled a bit, wrap up your rice in your towel and squeeze the hell out of it. The goal is to remove a lot of the moisture. I probably squeezed 1/3-1/2 a cup of water from it. Don’t get too finicky here, just try to get as much out as you can. Once it is fairly dry, dump it into a bowl, add the egg and spices and mix it really well with your hands. Once it is uniform, dump your “dough” onto your preferred baking apparatus and press it out slowly until it forms a crust. Mine looked like this:
Yes, there is some yellow in there. Yes, I added some cheese to my crust as well. Yes, it will work just as well without that cheese.
Pop your crust into the oven for about 11 minutes, or until it is brown. You don’t need to flip your crust. Once it is nice and crisp, take it out and add your pizza sauce and chosen ingredients.
Mine, pre baking.
Once you’ve done that, pop it back into the oven until all of your cheese is nice and bubbly; or if you are going cheese-less, until your vegetables are cooked. Knowing when your pizza is done is a pretty easy eye-test. I think mine cooked at 450 for about 15 minutes or so, but every oven is a little different.
You would never know this wasn’t real pizza. And the crust held all of the toppings so well! (Pardon my manicure. Nail and cuticle biting is a horrible stress-induced habit)