Pork Fried Rice

I need to come up with better names for these dishes. I’m pretty much the least creative person on the planet and I’m pretty straight forward, and I think those lovely traits of mine are reflected well in my post naming. Oh well. I’ll work on that.

This has been a busy week for me. I had a lot of work to do (end of the month joys) and I had a few doctors appointments to cram in there as well. Throw in as many night workouts as I have been able to fit in, and cooking has taken a back seat this week. That means getting home at around 7:30 or 8 every night and throwing together a meal of whatever the hell is in my fridge and eating around 9 pm. Every night. Weekend, where are you?

The first time I made paleo rice was when I made PaleOMG’s Thai Chicken and Mango Fried Rice. Shit, that recipe is good. But I gotta be honest, it took a lot of time to make. Plus it required a lot of ingredients. Work + ingredients = an unhappy Megan (most of the time). But, I did have a head of cauliflower that needed to be cooked, plus some pork chops and random veggies, so figured I could just make a super lazy version of fried rice.

My mom used to make fried rice (with actual rice) when I was a kid, and I swear it was better than any Chinese food we ever ordered. This one tastes remarkably similar to real fried rice for a dish that contains no rice whatsoever. TJ and I both had seconds.

**Disclosure: You need a food processor for this recipe. I try to keep my kitchen tools really simple, but I honestly think even the smallest food processor is completely necessary.**


4 boneless pork chops. Mine were really thin.

1 head of cauliflower

1-2 bell peppers. You really only need one, but using more than one will give you more color.

1/2 white onion

1 head of broccoli

1 clove of garlic, minced

4 TSP coconut aminos. That’s a fancy way of saying gluten free soy sauce. If you’re not that worried about it, use regular or low sodium soy sauce. Be warned: regular soy sauce does contain sugar.

2 TSP sesame oil

1/2 TSP cayenne pepper

1/4 cup vinegar

1 carrot

2 eggs

Any other vegetables you decide you want in your dinner.


Marinate your pork chops for at least an hour. I think I left mine in for 2.5 hours, simply because I left to work out and just threw the marinade on before I left.

For the marinade: Throw the pork chops in a bag. Add 1 TSP of sesame oil, 1 TSP of coconut aminos/soy sauce, cayenne pepper, vinegar and garlic. Seal the bag and rub the chops really well, place in fridge and leave to marinate.

While they are marinating (or you’re working out, whatever) prepare your rice.

To make the rice: take your head of cauliflower, chop into smaller pieces and pulse in a food processor until it is rice-like. I have a tiny 4 cup food processor from Homegoods that literally can only chop or pulse. ANY food processor will make cauliflower rice.

Put the other TSP of sesame oil in a pan and put your rice on top to cook, stirring often so it doesn’t burn. Now chop the rest of your veggies into bite size pieces and add them to the rice pan, again stirring frequently. Side note:  I actually shaved my carrots (with a peeler) so they would be thinner and cook faster.

Take your eggs and quickly scramble them in a pan. I literally crack two eggs over a hot pan, stir them with a spatula and cook until done. No muss, no fuss.

Take your pork chops out and cook them on high heat on in a pan, pouring  the marinade on top so they cook in it. Mine took about 1.5 minutes per side since they were so thin. Once those are cooked, take them out and set them aside to cool. Once they are cool, chop into bite size pieces, add to your rice and veggie pan along with the eggs and the rest of the coconut aminos/soy sauce. Mix everything up so all of the flavors meld together, remove from heat and serve.

Easy peasy!


3 responses

  1. Pingback: Thai Coconut Curry Chicken | Paleo For Beginners

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